Top 10 Non-Traditional Christmas Films

There’s certainly nothing wrong with sitting the family down and watching Home Alone over the holiday season. But with my gang, we’re a tad more inclined to take in Die Hard than It’s a Wonderful Life. So I got to thinking, what are my favorite non-traditional Christmas flicks? Below are some choice excerpts from some of the best movies that handle the yuletide joy in a slightly different manner. Happy holidays everyone!

10. Gremlins

“I was nine years old. Me and mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.”

9. Trading Places

“I’ll bet you thought I’d forgotten your Christmas bonus.”

“Five dollars. Maybe I’ll go to the movies… by myself. Thank you, Mr. Mortimer. Asshole.”

8. Edward Scissorhands

“I know it is a little early for Christmas, Edward, but I have a present for you.”

7. The Ref

“You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.”

6. Lethal Weapon

“The bulk of the heroin will be here Friday night, we'll make delivery at that time. Have the money ready, and no tricks. If you try anything... you'll have to talk to Mr. Joshua. Merry Christmas.”

5. Fanny and Alexander

“I don't know why I feel so comically solemn this evening. I can't explain how I feel, so I'd best be brief. My wife and I, and the rest of the Ekdahl family, my brother Carl, we wish you all a happy and joyous Christmas. I Hope we meet again on St. Stephen's Day, strengthened in body and soul. Merry Christmas.”

4. Eyes Wide Shut

“I do love you and you know there is something very important we need to do as soon as possible.”

3. Die Hard

“‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except... the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.”

2. Go

“It’s called ‘Mary X-mas.’ ‘Mary’ like a chick. Like her name is Mary. Not like you marry her, you fucking moron. I don’t know, it’s some warehouse shit. Will this be cool?"

1. Bad Santa

“It’s my job, no big deal. I’m an eating, drinking, shitting, fucking Santa Claus.”

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