Brooklyn’s Finest

If you are in the mood to laugh your ass off at actors you thought were good, delivering some of the worst scripted dialogue in years, then Brooklyn’s Finest is right up your alley.

So what we’ve got are three cops, each with their own boring-as-all-hell plotline (none of which ever connect by the way). One is old, one is bad, and one is confused. Boo who. Look, there’s Richard Gere, with a lousy accent and even worse facial expressions. Do we actually believe that his character wakes up every morning with a shot of bourbon and a lame suicide attempt? Awful.

Then we’ve got Ethan Hawke (who is slowly becoming one of the most blatant over actors working in American film) as a cop with a big family but little funds. So hey, why not try to rob a half dozen thugged-out, gun-toting black dudes and steal their drug money? Great idea!

Then, right as we’ve given up all hope, we entrust ourselves in Don Cheadle. He can save this two hour and 20 minute dud, right? Not a chance. Sorry Don, Johnny Depp portrayed the whole cop-in-way-too-undercover bit far better in Donnie Brasco.

Brooklyn’s Finest is directed by Antoine Fuqua, who hasn’t made a good (or even decent) flick since the mediocre Training Day in 2001. Some may think that Tears of the Sun was badass, or that King Arthur rocked, or that Shooter was oh so clever. Not me. Maybe if Fuqua tried a story that’s never been done, it’d be somewhat enjoyable. (Note: according to IMDB, Fuqua’s next film is titled Pablo Escobar; please hold your applause until the end of the review).

I was actually rooting for Brooklyn’s Finest, and although my interest and hope died early, I felt like the Cheadle story was enough to not make the film a total disaster. That was until the movie’s climax, when everything went to shit. I mean, way deeper shit than it already was in. F