Saw 3D

All the Saw movies start the same: with a person(s) desperately trying to free themselves from Jigsaw's elaborate torture-porn trap. In these prologues, the victims almost always die (which explains why the scene has nothing to do with the rest of the film), but the laughable skit that opens Saw 3D takes the cake.

Two guys wake up, handcuffed to giant electric saws, then a girl is revealed being hung from the ceiling. She's been boning both of them, Jigsaw explains, and the two men must decide who dies: one of them, or the girl.

The kicker is that they are encased in a giant, plexiglass box in the middle of a large city. As the countdown nears zero, a crowd steadily gathers in front of the box, taking pictures with their BlackBerry's, feebly attempting to break the glass, making half-assed calls to the cops, and so on.

During the scene, I kept thinking how implausible the whole ordeal was, like people would actually watch three teenagers get chopped in half. And then it hit me. I realized how, and I can't believe I'm saying this, ingenious the scene was.

People actually do enjoy watching teenagers get chopped in half, why the hell do you think every single Saw movie damn near doubles its budget in its opening weekend box office take?

So, in this scene, the filmmakers aren't only making fun of themselves (well, that might be giving them too much credit), they are making fun of their viewers, as if asking: "You like watching this shit on film, and we bet money you'd watch it in person, too."

It's a scary thought, but a far scarier one is that, despite its marketing tease that this is the final Saw film, next year, you can bet your ass that if it's Halloween, it must be Saw. D-