One of the best parts about getting to know someone is
showing them movies I love. But in the beginning, I’ve found that it’s
important to be slightly cautious. On date two, for example, I wouldn’t suggest
watching Cries and Whispers while you
eat a nice dinner you’ve prepared (not that I’ve ever done that or anything).
Instead, below are a handful of great films that, in my experience, are good at
easing your way into the movie side of a relationship. Some are romantic,
others are funny, and some are just plain fun. No matter the genre, whether you
watch them on your first date or fifth, I’m confident that they’ll all go over well.
Note: Apologies to the ladies, this list was written
from the perspective of guys showing gals movies. I am what I am, after all.
10. Point Break
(1991)
Because any lady who can love (and love to laugh at)
Point Break is worth holding on to.
Plus, in all seriousness, it doesn’t hurt to have a little fun.
9. That Thing You Do! (1996)
Speaking of fun,
That
Thing You Do! is one of the most compulsively rewatchable movies I’ve seen.
You just feel good watching it. And the Guy/Faye, will-they-or-won’t-they
romance is satisfying for everyone.
8. Jerry Maguire
(1996)
One of my favorite romantic dramadies,
Jerry Maguire is another film I can watch any time. Hard to find a
gal who doesn’t like this one.
7. Annie Hall
(1977)
Woody Allen’s personal life threatens to get in the way of
his art, but barring that, putting
Annie
Hall on when you’re starting a relationship is never a bad idea. Do break
up movies get any funnier?
6. In the Mood for
Love (2000)
All that talking about how they
didn’t do it could steer the conversation toward, well, you know.
5. The Contender
(2000)
Rod Lurie’s
The
Contender isn’t a romantic film, but it is one of the best movies I’ve seen
about female empowerment. A great movie about women fighting for what is rightfully theirs.
4. Say Anything…
(1989)
There has been no better romantic comedy made
since.
3. Amélie (2001)
Amélie is just so
gorgeous. It looks like heaven, and its story is so impossibly tender. Also, if
you’re a film buff, it’s smart to gauge how interested your new girl is in
foreign films.
2. Casablanca (1942)/The Apartment (1960)
Casablanca is, by
my estimation, the finest romance film of all time. And
The Apartment isn’t too far behind it. I cannot think of a single
reason to
not watch these at the beginning
of a relationship.
1. Before Sunrise
(1995)/Before Sunset (2004)
The best getting-to-know-you double feature I can imagine.
Before Sunrise and
Before Sunset are love. Watch them back to back, it’ll only
take three hours and neither of you will regret it. But best to skip
Before Midnight, for now.
Honorable Mention
Gone Girl (2014)
Juuuuust kidding.
Ten More to (seriously) Consider
Sabrina (1954)
The Princess Bride
(1987)
When Harry Met Sally…
(1989)
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Belle Epoque
(1992)
Y Tu Mamá También (2001)
Whale Rider (2003)
Eternal Sunshine of
the Spotless Mind (2004)
Pride and Prejudice (2005)
Begin Again (2014)
Amelie is my favorite on this list. (and Begin Again, even though it was just a contender) First date movies are so tricky for film lovers because our tastes are probably so different from others that don't care as much as we do.
ReplyDeleteThe first date movie I went to see with my now husband was Kung Fu Hustle. Sooooooooo bad. lollol
"First date movies are so tricky for film lovers because our tastes are probably so different from others that don't care as much as we do."
DeleteYes, exactly. That's precisely what I was going for with this list. Really glad you "got" that concept, while clearly many others did not. Kung Fu Hustle on the first date... that's priceless!
I love your choices. I still haven't watched In the Mood for Love, The Contender, Amélie or The Apartment. But my favorite (from the ones you mentioned) are: Edward Scissorhands, When Harry Met Sally, Before Sunrise, Y Tu Mamá También, Say Anything…, and Casablanca.
ReplyDeleteI personally love your honorable mention. For honorable mention I'd ad some of 'my' films that I (seriously) like show to my ladies on a date (maybe not the first or second).
First is Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (I am the biggest asshole on the planet) and if she resisted then Antichrist. (I heard Bill Hader doing that and I tried myself.)
Holy shit man... Salo and Antichrist! Those are some bold choices for a first date haha. I don't think I'd show either of those to someone I'd dated for years, let alone one date!
DeleteOh lovely post! Amelie is indeed a great choice here and I love the inclusion of Begin Again! One that I'd add is anything from British comedies like Bridget Jones's Diary or Notting Hill. They just don't make them like that anymore
ReplyDeleteThanks! You know, you're right, they really don't make those Brit comedies like that anymore. I'm actually a fan of both the ones you mentioned. Notting Hill is perfectly decent for the kind of movie it is.
DeleteThe Apartment! YES! So glad you chose that as that is perfect. It Happened One Night is another one I would pick. Audition too (just kidding).
ReplyDeleteThe first movie I saw on a date with whom is now my girlfriend was Inside Llewyn Davis. (To let you in on cool she is, she loooooooved GoodFellas, Dog Day Afternoon, Boogie Nights and Sunset Boulevard. All of which I showed her on later dates)
You're girl definitely sounds like a rad gal! Haha dude, I have the BEST Audition story. I once dated a girl who was a huge fan of Japanese cinema. So on one of our first dates, she brings over Audition. I had seen it, she had not. One of her friends had lent it to her and told her it was a quiet romance movie. The friend was obviously joking, but my girlfriend believed him. So, I continue the lie and say, "Yeah, sure, let's watch a quiet romance movie." We put it on and, as you know, the first 40 minutes are indeed a quiet romance, but when that motherfucker moved around in that huge sack, she FLIPPED out. I've never seen someone that scared in my life. It was priceless. We actually finished the movie and she really liked it. Who knew?
DeleteI am actually jealous of her reaction. I went in knowing just how brutal it was.
DeleteI went in knowing something was going to be off about it. Miike doesn't make rom-coms, after all. But I didn't know it was going to go THERE. Love that movie.
DeleteI was really beginning to wonder about this list then I saw your other suggested films. I'd go with most of those before I would most of the ones on the main list (other than Amelie and Casablanca).
ReplyDeleteNot a Before Sunrise/Sunset fan?
DeleteYes, I like them both, but I wouldn't pick them for a first date since almost any real first date, incuding the one I was on, would pale in comparison and therefore come across as not that good of a first date.
DeleteGreat list! Loved your top 3 picks (with the exception of The Apartment, because I haven't seen that yet), and the inclusion of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
ReplyDeleteThanks! The Apartment is so classic and sweet. Really great film.
DeleteOh, these are great first date films. I can totally agree with these choices though I'm not really fond of Belle Epoque, I think it's overrated while I haven't seen Begin Again or the original version of Sabrina.
ReplyDeleteOh, here's something interesting that I should note about a famed first date. Robert Smith of the Cure took the woman who would become his wife to a movie on their first date. You know what film they saw? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
I love the latter part to this post, it totally usurps Alex's pseudo-chivalrous sexism
DeleteVoid: I'd love to hear your thoughts on Begin Again. As a music lover, I really think you'd dig it.
DeleteAaron: Be careful with your comments on my site. Alluding to me being sexist is something I don't take lightly. At all.
OK but I should note that I'm likely to destroy Adam Levine in my review if I ever see it. I have beef with him and it's very personal. What he did to "Closer" is blasphemous.
DeleteAhh gotcha. He plays a douchebag pretty well in the film, so it may be fitting that you hate him.
DeleteWell I think the post is sexist and I took a passive, honest approach to letting you know I was offended by it.
DeleteIf that's the way you really feel, I kindly ask that you refrain from commenting on this site in the future.
DeleteYou're asking me not to comment because of how your post made me feel? That doesn't seem fair. Why is criticism a d/or discussing something potentially harmful something your site should be immune to? You're basically saying that no on should comment unless it's praise or without questioning you.
DeleteI simply want to be proven wrong. I love your site and this post was a surprise considering how consistent you've been up until this point.
I don’t have a desired to be praised. That’s not why I maintain this blog. I’m interested in having an active archive for my film writing, and, yes, in discussing film with the people who are kind enough to visit this site. Your comment was not intended to provoke discussion. It was snarky and groundless, which are not incentives to encourage debate, but rather, motivations to incite the person you’re criticizing.
DeleteTo start a discussion, you may have said, “Alex, I love your site, but this post is a surprise considering how consistent you’ve been up until this point. There are some things in this post that I interpreted as sexist, but I simply want to be proven wrong.”
But you didn’t do that. You asserted a very offensive opinion (which, for the record, none of my other, amazing commenters seem to agree with) that could only do one thing, which is piss me off. It baffles me that a post that highlights my favorite film about female empowerment could be labeled as sexiest. But that matters little. In my personal life, I’ve done so much to speak out for women’s rights, not to mention actively dedicated my entire filmmaking career to writing strong, independent female characters for strong, independent women. That’s me. That’s who I am and will continue to be. I was upset by your comment for roughly five minutes, then I just laughed it off. I have nothing to prove to you, nothing to convince you of. I know who I am and the immense respect I have for all women. So, fair or not, I can’t possibly foresee any benefit from you continuing to comment on this site. While the comment section of my site is never intended to be a praise-heavy circle jerk, I do consciously try to keep things positive and respectful, which is something you apparently aren’t on board with.
Lovely list! Mostly because you put lots of my fave films like Jerry Maguire, Say Anything, and the Before... movies. Also Amelie :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Andina :)
Delete"She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."
ReplyDeleteGreat list as usual. I love almost all of these and even watched Say Anything for one of the first dates with my current girlfriend so that worked out well. I haven't tried Point Break for a date movie yet though. I guess i'm a little too afraid that i would look less appealing to the girl after she has been watching a couple of sweaty and wet guys like Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves two hours.
Haha, your Point Break comment is hilarious. I did put that one on the list as a sort-of joke, but when I start dating someone, I am genuinely curious if they can have "fun" with certain movies, and PB is one of the funnest movies I've ever seen.
DeleteLots of cool flicks, here. If we're going for a romance angle, might I suggest Beyond the Lights, Silver Linings Playbook, Love Jones, Love & Basketball, (500) Days of Summer, Rust and Bone, Her.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest though, if I'm picking a movie from things I've already seen then I'd probably go with more thought provoking movies to stimulate the type of conversation that might force some honest opinions so my date and I can get to know each other a little better than the niceties these movies tend to lead to. Probably wouldn't pick anything too outrageous, but maybe stuff like Dear White People, Gone Baby Gone, The Master, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Another Earth (or Melancholia), and yeah, I'd seriously consider Gone Girl.
Lots of times both parties are seeing a movie for the first time on a first date. In that case, we just go with the most popular and/or interesting thing that happens to be in theaters. Sometimes that's great, sometimes not. Case in point, on my first date with my wife we went to see Species. Not really a good movie, but hey, we're still married.
My list was a conscience list of romance and thought provoking. Like The Contender - that's likely to spark a great conversation(s) with anyone you watch it with, particularly a young woman. While Say Anything is just so damn sweet. But I liked your choices a lot. My Gone Baby Gone story: I once watched that on a double date and the other guy was so adamant about the ending (he agreed with Affleck's choice) that it sparked a HUGE argument between he and his girlfriend. It was very, very awkward, but interesting to watch unfold.
DeleteMovies I've seen on first dates, Fearless, Rec and Predator! All winners for me
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Horror can be great for first dates, if you're both a fan of the genre.
DeleteGreat list! Love to see the inclusion of a lot of faves on here like Eternal Sunshine, Casablanca, The Apartment, Truman Show, and on and on. Might I add Midnight in Paris too; the ending for me is nearly perfect. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Katy! Midnight in Paris is a great choice. I mean... at least one Woody Allen flick has to be on a list like this, right?
DeleteGreat list! I love how you didn't just stick to rom-coms, there are so many tender and beautiful movies out there. The Before films are great picks for number one, and a Casablanca/The Apartment double double feature would be awesome as well. Also, to add to Sabrina, Roman Holiday & Breakfast at Tiffany's would be lovely too. I think Love Story would also be the ultimate tearjerker.
ReplyDeleteJust to add, I think the teenage comedy trifecta (Heathers, Clueless and Mean Girls) would be great picks too.
DeleteThanks Aditya! I didn't want to stick to just rom-coms, because they're such "easy" choices for this list, you know? Clueless and Mean Girls for sure! I love those movies. And Heathers has one of the best lines ever... "Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?"
DeleteI FUCKING LOVE Linklater's Before Trilogy. SO GOOD.
ReplyDelete(Love what you've written about it hahah)
Thanks so much! Great, great movies.
DeleteOooh these are awesome picks on a wonderful topic, Alex. That Thing You Do! is quite an underrated film, not a bad debut from Tom Hanks. I adore the two classics you picked for #2: I've just seen Casablanca (1942) & The Apartment (1960) in the past few years and I totally get what the fuss is about those two!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you like those films, and thrilled that you enjoy That Thing You Do! That movie is just so much damn fun.
DeleteSuch a great list man. Your #1 and #2 are perfect. I LOVE what you mentioned about Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. That's how I first watched them (back to back), and it's a wonderful experience. Also, it's awesome that the original Sabrina made the next 10 list.
ReplyDeletePoint Break and That Thing You Do! have been on my watchlist for years, so I really need to check them out. I haven't seen Belle Epoque yet either.
Thanks Josh! I really think you'd have fun with both Point Break and That Thing You Do! PB is a classic '90s action romp. Seriously love that film.
DeleteI've never gotten so much joy out of a movie as when I'm able to share it with someone else who ends up loving it. For me honestly, and it may be a few strange picks but Last Days of Disco and Beautiful Girls would be up there with Say Anything and Before Sunrise. Also, another recent movie that I think is good for it About Time.
ReplyDeleteSo true. And I'm really glad you dug my stranger picks as well. I mean, rom-coms don't always have to be the go-to.
DeleteBefore I begin, let me just say that my dating experience consists of two extremely casual lunch-dates with women who were so not into me that they felt more like half-dates, so you could say I've been on a total of one date, so my thoughts on the subject are mostly hypothetical.
ReplyDeleteYou have some really good movies on this list to be the first film you watch with your significant other, although I feel (again, hypothetically) a lot more cautious. I'd probably save the serious movie watching for the third or fourth date, you know, see if I'm comfortable with them enough to feel like I can calmly sit for two hours in silence with them while some emotions unfold onscreen (by the way, Her would be perfect for that as well). However, on the first date, I think a good idea would be to have a sort of MST3K-esque riffing party, with something like The Room or Plan 9 From Outer Space. Have a few laughs, and really reel her in with your sense of humor. Also, you can see how many of your references she gets, which is nice.
Well, as I said in the intro, these flicks aren't necessarily designed for only first dates, but rather, the first few dates into a relationship. Because yeah, I agree, you don't want to start off all heavy on the first date. That could be very off putting. But I like the idea of watching a crazy flick like The Room early on. Definitely a good way to judge someone's sense of humor.
DeleteBAHAHAHA! Gone Girl! Love that ;-)
ReplyDeleteAlso...SO WITH YOU on That Thing You Do. I have such affection for that movie. Great list, as always!
Thanks man! Really happy you're into That Thing You Do! That's such a special little film there.
DeleteHahaha!!! Gone Girl all the way! "We're so cute I want to punch us in the face" This list is fucking amazing, best movie choices for a first date seriously. Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are so close to my heart that they top easily every other pick though. Best first date movies by far!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you sir!! Gotta love Before Sunrise/Sunset. Seriously can never get enough of those films.
DeleteYou are so right on with this list, man. The Apartment is my go-to. I was so happy to show it to my girlfriend-at-the-time, now wife, when we first started dating. That one along with Annie Hall and Amelie were all movies I showed her for the first time that she now adores. Our first date was Hot Tub Time Machine. We love it to this day. Quite ironically, we went to see Gone Girl on our first wedding anniversary.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, man! I love every single movie on it.
This comment ROCKS! Love that you two saw Hot Tub Time Machine on the first date, followed by GG on the first anniversary. Priceless. So cool that she's on board with such a wide range of films. You've got a keeper there!
DeleteGone Girl is a great breakup movie haha. Really solid list here. Love the inclusion of The Apartment, Wilder was a goddamned genius, Lubitsch taught him well. My ex loved Amelie, that was our jam when we were dating, that and Rushmore. My favorite date movie is Mean Streets, easy to see why I'm single :D
ReplyDeleteMean Streets - yes! Haha that's awesome man. Amelie is a great one. There's plenty in there for both people in a relationship to enjoy.
DeleteMaybe it's just because of the people I hang around with and the girls I've dated but if I found a girl who would be willing to watch In The Mood for Love with me, I'd know that's a girl worth keeping lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I'd show a date Annie Hall or The Apartment on first date though (only because I love those films, with the latter easily making my top 20 of all time). I'd have to save some of those great films for later on man, don't make me blow my load on the first date showing her the best of the best!
Haha that's hilarious. Honestly, my "she's a keeper" movie is Point Break. Because I love (love, love) that damn movie. And if she can see the absurdity in it, but also have fun with it, then yeah, she's a keeper.
DeleteBegin Again is a great choice, definitely something both guys and girls could enjoy on a first date.
ReplyDeletewatchmojo went the opposite direction and did a Top 10 Worst First Date Movies, it's quite entertaining: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbT4kKGfO1Q
Haha that list is awesome. Definitely guilty of American Psycho (she said she liked scary movies and Christian Bale!). But man, you'd have to have a touch of crazy in you to watch Antichrist on a first date.
DeleteWhat about Mr. and Mrs. Smith!
ReplyDeleteHitch or Liman?
DeleteI always had a soft spot for Outside Providence as a first date movie. Terribly underrated Farelly Brothers movie.
ReplyDeleteOhhh yeah, I forgot about that one. Baldwin is funny in that.
DeleteHi Alex, ever since 2012, I've always admired your blog because you are so dedicated to movies. Thanks, for always being there for me, I spent about part of my freshmen and sophomore years just always keeping up to date with you! I am anticipating your movie, I don't even have to watch the movie to know what it's about, it's literally all of us. Thanks, man!
ReplyDeleteWow, Imanee, thank you so much for this comment. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Seriously, comments like yours make maintaining this site worth it. Thanks so much for checking out the site. I'm so eager to share Wait with you!
DeleteYour #1 was my #1 for years. The most memorable instance came after a viewing of Before Sunset where my date said our, "Adventure wasn't over yet," and we walked through a graveyard before finally making out under a dying tree just as a group of bats flew overhead.
ReplyDeleteMy new #1 came partly as a result of my first date with my now fiancee and we watched Drive. We were both so turned on by the movie we could barely stop groping each other long enough to get back to her place. Awesome as Before Sunrise / Sunset are, they didn't top the sight of Carey Mulligan and Ryan Gosling breathing heavily at each other.
Dude, this comment rocks. Love the carnal honesty of it. Is that Before Sunset story true?! That's a fucking great tale right there. That Drive story made me chuckle a bit, only because it reminded me of a gal I used to date who got crazily turned on by Mad Men, of all things. Strangest thing, but hey, best not to question what works.
DeleteI have my character flaws, but dishonesty isn't one of them. Turns out that graveyard walking was what she kept trying to get guys to go along with because the thing everyone wanted to do was kiss under this torch on campus. She preferred the graveyard because she thought, if something of them is still out there, they'd appreciate the visit.
DeleteTotally agree with the Mad Men too, just all that crisp sophistication then when Joan would come onscreen, share a few barbs with Don and...mmmmm mmmmm mmmmmm.
Ha, that's awesome. The girl who woos dudes in the graveyard.
Delete